There’s no road map to guide you through the process of grieving. Everyone is different and will have to forge their own path through this difficult process. But there are approaches that can help you as you navigate your way.
Talk About It
This is the time to reach out to those closest to you; the ones you know you can count on to really listen without judgment or attempts to hijack the conversation. If your friends and family don’t fit this bill, consider finding a community or online support group, or even attending professional therapy. The process of talking through your grief with a supportive conversational partner can help you feel immensely better. We all need to know that we’re not alone.
Sometimes it can feel awkward to reach out, especially if you needed some time to process alone before you discussed your grief with others. It can feel as if the world has already moved beyond the event of your loss and that by still talking about it, others may feel you are unable to move on. Truly supportive people, especially ones who have experienced loss themselves, will understand and be there for you, just as you’d be there for them.
Accept Your Feelings
Being angry, anxious, afraid, confused, despondent, or exhausted are all normal feelings during grief, but it is also normal not to feel any of these things. It’s ok to not feel like eating, and it’s ok to feel ravenous, unfillable hunger. Not sleeping is natural during times of grief, as is sleeping far more than usual. And it’s normal to oscillate between any of these states during your grief.
Be gentle to yourself and accepting of your feelings and needs during grief. Everyone processes differently and in their own time. By acknowledging and accepting your process, you will allow your body, mind, and soul to work through your grief in your own way.
Practice Patience
Grieving can take years. And in some ways, you will probably never heal. But things will get better. It will take time, so be patient with yourself as you learn what your new life will look like without your loved one.
It is also important to be patient with those around you who may or may not also be experiencing the effects of the same loss. Remember, everyone processes in their own way, so try to practice patience when it comes to the needs of those around you. It’s all about acceptance of the needs of yourself and others.
By talking through your feelings of grief, accepting your unique grieving process, and being patient with yourself and others, you can begin to find your way through your phases of grief. This is not an easy thing to navigate, and it will undoubtedly change who you are as a person. You will find your way to the other side, a life forever changed but lived on in honor of your lost love.